Tucker Max is an asshole. He drinks to excess at inappropriate times, disregards social norms, indulges every whim, takes no responsibility for his actions, rebels against any authority, mocks idiots and posers, sleeps with more women than is safe or reasonable and generally just acts like a raging dickhead. He shares his experiences with millions of fans on his website, tuckermax.com Assholes Finish First contains twenty-five of the most gut-bustingly hilarious, morally offensive and degrading stories you will ever read in your life, including: * Girl Goes on The Tucker Max Diet: Tucker gets a girl to go on a diet by systematically breaking her down and destroying her self-esteem; *Tucker and Friends Make First Foray into Real Crime: The story of how Tucker and his friends tried to steal a beer truck, and failed miserably; * Tucker Goes to a Muslim Wedding, Drinks Anyway: Does this really need explaining? * Tucker Uses Child Labor to Get A Date